________ nervous;

… it is so strange to be right back in the swing of things, experiencing thoughts that I didn’t know I still was capable of thinking, feeling things that I thought were banished from my conscious alert state.

And can it be?

Everything is so new, yet so familiar and I don’t know what to do. It has been 1 year, 1 month and 4 days and I have never been happier… (with the exception of the midterm and paper all on the same day… thats a wee bit stressful) I cannot change anything but it is what is experienced.

There are old emotions coming back also and I need to learn to suppress them. Jealousy? SO bad. I am learning new things every day though. Nervousness? It is in huge quantities and shall not be dispersed until I know for sure what will happen.

I think the scariest thing about nervousness is the waiting. You experience something, feel something, want something and when you have to wait, its enough to scare the pants off of even the strongest person. I know that God has everything worked out for me. I know that, I embrace it and I am really loving it. I know also that with experiences like these, patience is invaluable.. not to mention totally necessary. But having patience with waiting for God’s plan is really rough. I mean, I know that I can do it. I have full confidence but I want things to take off.

What do you want?