Personal Indulgence in the Lay-Out of the Mind

To bottle it up;

To paint a façade;

To indulge in a mask that prevents the prying;

~~

Accumulated pain through the years caused her to pull back into herself; sitting, waiting, wishing that something would alleviate; but through those very years, it seemed as if nothing would.

Of course she had her family, she had a few friends with whom she could confide in, but the addition of a desire not to pester anyone allowed her to become very adept at building walls.

She hid behind it until things were safe to come out and she was faced with unfamiliar faces all peering back at her, misunderstanding why this human emerged from thin air.

Today she knows that the walls are not the best way of handling situations. That those who are close think ‘walls fall down’ so that she may understand what they deal with.

They have mostly fallen. But she will never lose her skill at maintaining their solidity. She will never lose her ability to build them up. If someone isn’t meant to see something, they won’t. It is best to try not and figure her out because you will simply not get anywhere.

But she thanks you that she is only building shorter ones now. They can be breached, they can be scaled, and the gates can be opened.

Today is good friday. This is one of the reasons.