Strike the Light from the Box

She read it, she processed it, she replied.

Where to start if not at the brutal tangled bits of the beginning? One could commence with a sentence such as ‘Since the dawn of time…’ or ‘Once in a land far, far away…’, but would that be speaking to the bottom of the honesty of emotional connection? Would that be justly associating the burdens of the heart with the complexities of the human thought process? I shall admit that I can over-think things, but when it gets to be a matter of the soul, then things can go round and round in circles before real details are worked out. Does that make sense?

Have you ever experienced that? I am sure you have. Sitting and thinking on your own, failing to notice the world that seems to be passing you by… But while you are doing such thinking about these particular matters, you overcook the rice and pasta, making a horribly sticky and inedible mess.

Yep, I went there. I incorporated food into my jumble of twisted thoughts. But does that not make legitimate sense, my lovely wordplay upon confusion? I have seen things that I do not wish to recount; I have been involved with issues that are heart-wrenching but have helped me to grow; I have seen people I thought I knew turn to things that even I as a close friend would fail to recognize. But while I processed all of these rather unfortunate events as they happened, I just got to the point of cyclical thinking such as I have described above.

But the part that would always hurt me inwardly is that I felt rather useless to many of these situations. I wasn’t able to identify with occurrences, they were foreign to me. But as time continued to tick, I was able to discern some of the complexities that faced some of the people I loved and I was able to identify with them without being directly involved with the situation. Vague? Yes, it is supposed to be.

Needless to say, though I now understand what is going on, it is such a complex mix up of words in a couple of languages, thoughts and emotions that placing it into coherent patterns becomes a task that one would have to be devoted to for several months.

I apologize for the inconvenience as I know it is but a match in a dark room, but my prayer is that you continue to walk with that match, finding other candles. Don’t worry, it won’t burn your fingers– much.