Vroom, Vroom

So we frequently ask for God to come into our lives and take control– to remove our own direction and to place him in the driver seat, hat, gloves and all. We beg and plead for him to do just that… but what if once we receive what he has in store, we are no longer enthralled? What if we are scared to set ourselves apart to do his will, just as we have been asking for it? What if it puts us into a place that is uncomfortable to us in this worldly perspective? Would we be okay with that? Would you? Would I?

I’m reading/listening to Forgotten God by Francis Chan and he was the one that brought this idea to the forefront of my mind. I pray a lot that the Spirit would totally infuse into my life like tea into water, making a once rather bland liquid something rich and flavourful and memorable. I want the Spirit to take over me so that I wouldn’t be near as selfish, conceited or unkind to those around me… that others would see me and get this strange, squiggly feeling that I am indeed different than regular people– because of both how I live and for whom I live.

After coming back from Scotland, I realize that I would go huge lengths to do as He tells me to– I desire to have him whisper the direction I should be going and I yearn to go on truckin’ non-stop, just so that I may do what he wants. I don’t want to be held back and do something monotonous just because it is safe: I want to get up and move for him, by him and with him, even if it means throwing myself into the front lines in order to take up my cross.

When I think of the control I want to give him, I realize the little sacrifices that I am going to have to fling away along the way. I know that I can’t do it alone, but that is what makes me so excited.

When I say I yearn for his company and direction, I’m saying I ache for it. Not just a little ‘Oh, having Him around would be nice’, but a full-throated scream ‘God, I need you here with me. God, I want you so badly.’

I do want him. I want him to take me up in an English-Racing Green Aston Martin DB9 and ship me all over the place– wearing the hat, gloves and scarf that only a true driver can pull off. He’s doing amazing things and while all I can do is hold on for the ride, there is nothing I would rather be doing more.