incredulity
I was called today by a woman who takes care of a girl who has had a cerebral vascular accident (aka stroke). She came in today needing repairs on a brace she has. First off, watching her walk is super rough because of how she limps.
When I saw her get out of the car, she was not only limping but had a cigarette clutched between two of her fingers, holding onto this thing like it was a life giving piece of hope, nearly splaying it apart in her grasp.
In nursing, we are taught to be observant, making note of every little detail and characteristic that embodies and goes along with a person from their hair to what colour socks (well maybe not what colour socks as in the hospital as most of them are barefoot-- but when they do indeed wear them, you'd notice).
This girl's hair was so thin that you could see her scalp quite clearly and the lines and bruises on her skin-- having had her accident, apparently she found that a great deal of her hair began to fall out. While the stray wisps were pulled back into a butterfly clasp, it was coiffed not unlike a balding man who refuses to lose his hair... it was practically a combover.
When she began to speak, I hate to admit it but I drew back into myself a little bit as I got a look at her teeth. Having smoked so often, they had been dyed the colour of chocolate, staining them so badly and making them look practically rotton. While she smelt of fresh and old smoke, she smiled with her icy blue eyes, something that I marvelled at. Here was this 27 year old who looked like she just turned 15. She was small, dainty even but frail and her clothes didn't fit as they lay slung over her shoulders and hips, ill-fitting sweat pants and a hoodie.
This won't take long, will it? Yeah, I'm pregnant and I'm heading to the abortion clinic for 12, so I don't want to be late.
I smiled and said oh, no it won't take too long.
She asked where the bathroom was because apparently she was feeling sick (a nice healthy combination of tobacco and pregnancy I'm sure) and while she went away, her guardian shook her head.
I have seen a lot of sick people, but never have I witnessed someone who was destroying her body (partially due to the stroke-- she isn't in her right mind) and the life that was trying to grow inside of this body.
I felt a physical pain in my chest that sprang out of no where. Like someone had clobbered me between my lungs and stopped my breath short.
I'm not even sure about how I felt as she left for the restroom, apart from the utter disheartened pain and sadness that swept through my body.
When I saw her get out of the car, she was not only limping but had a cigarette clutched between two of her fingers, holding onto this thing like it was a life giving piece of hope, nearly splaying it apart in her grasp.
In nursing, we are taught to be observant, making note of every little detail and characteristic that embodies and goes along with a person from their hair to what colour socks (well maybe not what colour socks as in the hospital as most of them are barefoot-- but when they do indeed wear them, you'd notice).
This girl's hair was so thin that you could see her scalp quite clearly and the lines and bruises on her skin-- having had her accident, apparently she found that a great deal of her hair began to fall out. While the stray wisps were pulled back into a butterfly clasp, it was coiffed not unlike a balding man who refuses to lose his hair... it was practically a combover.
When she began to speak, I hate to admit it but I drew back into myself a little bit as I got a look at her teeth. Having smoked so often, they had been dyed the colour of chocolate, staining them so badly and making them look practically rotton. While she smelt of fresh and old smoke, she smiled with her icy blue eyes, something that I marvelled at. Here was this 27 year old who looked like she just turned 15. She was small, dainty even but frail and her clothes didn't fit as they lay slung over her shoulders and hips, ill-fitting sweat pants and a hoodie.
This won't take long, will it? Yeah, I'm pregnant and I'm heading to the abortion clinic for 12, so I don't want to be late.
I smiled and said oh, no it won't take too long.
She asked where the bathroom was because apparently she was feeling sick (a nice healthy combination of tobacco and pregnancy I'm sure) and while she went away, her guardian shook her head.
I have seen a lot of sick people, but never have I witnessed someone who was destroying her body (partially due to the stroke-- she isn't in her right mind) and the life that was trying to grow inside of this body.
I felt a physical pain in my chest that sprang out of no where. Like someone had clobbered me between my lungs and stopped my breath short.
I'm not even sure about how I felt as she left for the restroom, apart from the utter disheartened pain and sadness that swept through my body.
I've witnessed a lot of really rough things, a lot of really amazing miracles, but this absolutely caught me by surprise.
I had such a desire to ask a friend of mine to talk, just so he could slide some sense into my frayed mind. Having supported pro-life for the longest time, he knew how to ease the complicated hurt that sprung up in the unwary bystander.
My heart absolutely broke for this girl. I can't even describe it.
And through all of it, one thing that kept sprang to mind was the solid, sullen and screaming:
Why God?
I had such a desire to ask a friend of mine to talk, just so he could slide some sense into my frayed mind. Having supported pro-life for the longest time, he knew how to ease the complicated hurt that sprung up in the unwary bystander.
My heart absolutely broke for this girl. I can't even describe it.
And through all of it, one thing that kept sprang to mind was the solid, sullen and screaming:
Why God?
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