It's funny how you find things...

She started writing, not really pausing to think but dealing in what I had asked of her:

Dear Journal,

I listened to a song that has always held a place in my heart and I kept thinking about him. I don't know why... I have sung it countless times, I have listened to it and not felt any emotional drawback from it, but this time- this time it made me sad. I found myself missing the little things that I now realize were so special to me; I doubt they will ever go away but I'm not afraid. I don't wish to turn back time, just to reminisce. 
Things used to be simple, but when experiencing them, they weren't seen in that light: they were taken as stressful, exhausting and frustrating. Odd isn't it? Life is so peculiar that way. 
I wouldn't work in high school, yet was still worried I wouldn't get into university because of my lack of desire. It's good to know that I've channelled my desired now. I can see what good my trying really will make in both my future and the futures of others. I can hope at least- isn't that everyone's goal?
My father really didn't like him, but I was still drawn to a potential that I couldn't ignore. I put so much effort into it- as did he. It's almost a shame we did: I don't think either of us will ever be the same.

But he came about and offered me so much - it didn't finish with grace but rather thunking, but I cannot say that those weren't lovely times. There was just so much that I am thankful for ... for him even!
That song- it certainly brought back some memories. It haunted me- the little things that I couldn't get out of my mind while I listened to her voice cutting through the air. 

I miss the curve of his back, how I could feel every vertebrate through his shirt. The skin, so warm to touch.

I miss his arms around my waist as I peer into the mirror, putting on mascara before his parents came back.

I miss his soft, thin upper lip and how smooth it felt as I used to run my fingers along his mouth. I'd kiss it then and would love feeling the corners of his mouth raise in a smile.

I miss how he smelled when he came back from the bathroom to fix his hair... all clean and product. I tried so many times, but it will be his smell.

But out of all of these (I swear I don't know where they came from!), I am happy to say that my life has moved on. So what if I haven't dated since? I am perfectly alright with that.

I have shown hostility previously; a person in pain. I have grown up and am not the little girl you used to love. I think that I have changed so much that you would really be surprised, but I don't want to risk anything and see if that's the actual story.

What is the story, Morning Glory? 

With love for now and I will think about the next idea of potential space exploration,

Grace.