Painting Pictures

As the mind wheels in circles, there is little that can stop it from taking a turn that really should not be made. Things can be said and done which would theoretically help the spinning individual make a decision, but at the end of the day, phrases still need to be carefully chosen, actions carefully watched in order to not further mess up the poor brainlessness of 'reaction'.

Thinking things through will only get you so far- you know what to do, so do it... but you will see that even of the simplest bits that hold you back, your own impossibly persistent imagination for starters, appears to create an impasse between what you know is right an what feels right.

So now you watch: the sun glints off of the snow causing little rivulets of light to bounce back into one's eyes. Remarkable beauty you say to yourself, averting your eyes because of the sheer power of the beams.

As you sit and look into the trees, dotted with frost and sparkling showers of snowflakes, you can't help but think selfishness over and over in your mind: you want it all. Your horrible mindwaves pushing frustration into a reality that is more tangible than before.

But now now, you know that that is not right. You know that it's not kind. You want to hold tight to the past romances of miracles and profound colour yet embrace the thought of the new with the bizarre workings of the caterwauling of the mind and heart which join together in bizarre chains. And yet you raise your eyebrows as I point out what seems to be staring you in the face but never fear, I shall fall into the ceaseless tumbling that takes hold of you every day.

Eye-gazing... see deeper into the depths of one's emotions, soul and personality. You are real and you see the same thing when you gaze into my eyes.

I could watch your being forever,

capturing the beauty of your life

as I peer into your soul. 

Real. That's all you say as you fall back into complacency. Come back. Little is truly real yet only a perception. Yet you back away thinking that that is too complex, that is not concrete enough for the workings of your supposedly brilliant mind. But we are real, we do exist and we are indeed complex beings.

Now your thoughts change: You find that pieces are starting to fall into place and that gives me a series of eased feelings- I don't feel responsible for what I can't do but maybe now it's the walk that I can move along. I would compare it to a treadmill but that never stops: yes indeed this is like a circle but it is rather a more distinctive piece of work with a definite beginning and definite end but that doesn't stop it from being long, move in a spiral much like a carpark. And I hope to be on this journey with you for a very long time yet not simply because I enjoy the meanderings of carparks but rather because I feel this is something investing in - not just physically being there but psychologically and emotionally. We talked about worry and how its incredibly impractical - people know what is right; you particularly have the motivation, I just want to be around while the fantastic happens.

I hope that your mind won't throw you off because heaven knows that would be of a sticky finish- only not an end as the road inevitably keeps going. Brushes with glory.

Does that make more sense?