Everything.

It stings when people question. If who we are and what we stand for does not come across in how we act, how we speak, how we talk, who are we to call ourselves the people of God? He did not send Jesus to simply condemn us and have us steep in our insignificant and petty disasters, yet these are the same problems which hold us from truly finding the real and honest way of Jesus Christ. We think we cannot ever come to the seat of forgiveness because we have faltered just one too many times.

Something borrowed.

That is how things used to be viewed. That we had to make sacrifices, we had to go through lengthy rituals and cleansing, wordy soliloquies and complex checklists to ensure that we had the proper equipment to come before God. To even approach him required details and perfection and not the casual and blessed connection we are so privileged to encounter with Him today... now even.

Tu déchires le voile, Tu trace un chemin, car Tu as tout accompli.
You tore the veil, You made a way when You said that it is done.


A mentor was talking on Friday about forgiveness. How we ultimately approach the throne of the infinite creator of the universe with hearts so heavily laden and guilt-ridden that we cannot stand upright. We are so personally charged with the pain and frustration of our constant screw-ups that we find ourselves not fit to even step into the metaphorical and spiritual throne-room of God the almighty.

Yet for some bizarre, peculiar and unfathomable reason, He continues to love us. Not continueD as the mistakes and disasters that riddle our lives still find a way to wheedle their way into our actions, our thoughts and words but wow, He actually loves us. He continueS.


I can't understand it- I really can't. I've grown up with God since I was born: I live in a Christian family, go to church every Sunday, attended a Christian school for 13 years of my life but until last year it was something that didn't resound and didn't hit home. Christianity is not about just standing when you're told and singing hymns, reading what's in a book and speaking the right words. Where did we fall and let ourselves become slaves to the religion that we think is 'right' and miss out on the relationship that God yearns to have with us? He loves us. The magnitude of this love is so much greater- so much more fantastical and awe-inspiring that we cannot even attempt to 'get' it.

And this concept on forgiveness, the reality of coming before God and actually wanting something different, something more, a change to come about in our lives: this is how we find peace. We are forgiven by Jesus who took the blunders from us, not by monotonously reciting things any more. God wants that deeper relationship with us. He wants us to come to Him, to join with Him and to have a growing, static connection. He loves us. He wants us to love Him.

~~

Open our hearts to see the things that make your heart cry,

To be the church that You would desire - light to be seen.

Break down our pride and all the walls we've built up inside:

Our earthly crowns and all our desires, we lay at Your feet.

So let hope rise and darkness tremble in Your holy light

And every eye will see Jesus, our God, great and mighty to be praised.

God of all days, glorious in all of Your ways:

Your majesty, the wonder and grace, in the light of Your name.

With everything, with everything we will shout for Your glory. 

With everything, with everything we will shout forth Your praise.

Our hearts will cry 'Be glorified! Be lifted high above all names! For You, our King, 

With everything, with everything we will shout forth Your praise!'

~~

People get so easily distracted- it is like we have the attention spans of goldfish where we peer at something that actually has beauty and then fall to something far less remarkable. How on earth does this make sense? If you're faced with a beautiful piece of music or a masterfully crafted sculpture, why would we leave to listen to screaming babies or venture to the dump? Why give up beauty for something so obviously less? Why do we fall away from God for the rubbish of this world?

We screw up. We lose sight of the same God who gives us cause, who provides us life - who cleaned our slate and made us whole again. Who ultimately created everything. Let me drill it into you continuously... the same God who loves us passionately.

And I look back at myself and I ache. I yearn for forgiveness and know that it is hard pressed but the beauty of the matter is that I don't have to memorize a monologue and dress a certain way to meet with the One who can really clear me of my troubles. I look at my actions, I look at my heart and I grimace: how I approach situations without putting the Lord God Almighty first will always get me into trouble. He should be the first and He should be the last. This is a commitment that I am driven to work for - I want Him to be everything and need to move confidently in the direction of His grace and only Him for this.

I yearn to be made clean: to start afresh. And I'm reminded of the parable of the Prodigal's Son. This story became more than just a tale for me last February and it still brings me to tears. 'We sin, we rebel and we ruin our life, and in repentance we turn back to the Father and he runs to meet us.' (Sermon from Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Washington)

With everything. Be my everything. Take me down from my pedestal, become my forefront, my focus, my vision. I ache. I yearn. I desire. I cling to the fact that there is more should I stretch out my hand: and I am. I am reaching, I want to have You be. My. Everything.

I love You and I want to love You more. Everyday, more and more. I want to be forgiven, I want to change. I need to be set to You again. I cannot have distractions take my focus to things less beguiling, things less perfect. 


I have been allowed a beautiful life. Let me live it in clear definition of You so that You may see me and be pleased. Let those around me see that I am driven for Your glory. See that I am driven by Your spirit and that I am not fake, I am not hypocritical but that I do things in light of You. Right now, I am crashing, take over the drive and help me to show my true loyalties and where they lie.


I am committed and persuaded. I am made new. Allow my heart to fully open and to pour out my passion, pour out my praise and gratitude. Allow my love for others to show through my words and actions, allow me to be a light so that people may regard me as different. 

Be. My. Everything.

j