Him and Her

I have been waiting to compile this for ages and have finally found a spare moment on a lovely Sunday morning to whip all the bits of notes together into one post. And what prime timing!

After Friday I have hit a brand new sense of relief. After seeing what could have been, how unprepared I am for inevitable compromises, I left the station praising You for my solidarity. 

I am single and I really love it. 

I'm not bashing relationships or even the thought that I may one day head into one again, but for this current and exact moment, a moment where I do not see anyone on the horizon who has long-term relationship status quality that I would consider, I am so relieved. (I know that was a run-on sentence, that's how serious I am about the content there.)

Is that weird for a girl? There seem to be so many who want to be in a relationship- to feel that emotional connection to a boy and almost to be put on a pedestal.

I have come to the conclusion that no matter whether or not you want this to happen, many people are not ready for relationships simply because they cannot be a comfortable, single version of themselves first. I have seen that with a friend of mine- he has been searching and searching to both fruitful and barren circumstances. I want to just tell him to chill and enjoy the time for now, but it seems so difficult and I know he would agree with me. It's fortunate he's there now.

Relationships aren't supposed to change who you are- you're supposed to be a heightened version of yourself with the additional person bringing out the best qualities that you offer. How does this work when you don't even have the established you sorted?

Wisdom regarding relationships is spread so thickly everywhere: everyone seems to have it. I have compiled a few bits of my own though from my experiences in the past. If you really don't care, then don't read it! But we're given circumstances to help ourselves grow as well as others. This is my two cents

• Relationships are fun, but don't bother with them when you spend more time than not fighting, crying or upset. 
• If anyone tells you long-distance relationships never work, laugh. If you love someone and you can determine points in your near future when you will see them, go for it. I have personally seen several long-distance relationships work out. Keep in mind however, you need to be really good going solo and they definitely don't work for everyone.
• Christian guys and gals: if God is not the center, the forefront and the theme of your relationship, might as well back out now while your emotional well-being is still in tact. If I can hit one point home, for the love, let it be this one. This is so important that I could run around screaming getting you guys to understand.
• You need to be right with God and right with yourself before you can even THINK to support someone else.
• Girls: you need 1 really close guy. Most girls are giggly and too focused on the perfect "Hollywood Romance" to be particularly helpful. In addition, if your bf hurts you, you need someone to hold you and help you see that it's not the end of the world but rather a fortunate beginning you've been allowed. The occasional threats of 'should we pound him?' is definitely a merciful comfort also. (Shout out to BP and GH - you guys are my rock!)
• Guys: you need 1 really close girl friend for sure. Not only will they excel at emotional compatibility and understanding every time but its really helpful to have a girl to offer insight into how your gf is feeling as she'll probably know better than the rest of the football players you hang out with (jk on the football players part).
• FYI : Life is not under any circumstances like Disney. Yeah there are parts of it where you stop and think and say 'Wow, this is kind of magical' (forgive the cliché), but that is simply a moment and I can promise that it will pass.
• On that note, Girls: you are not Disney princesses. Stop dressing and thinking like that. And while you tone down the pink chiffon, please remember that guys do not have all the characteristics of Prince Charming. Yeah they're really great but clingy = not so cool and not all of them are going to listen to you all the time.
• In response, Guys: you do not have to be this perfect 'boyfriend' that is whined and pined for. If the girl can't like you for your macho self they maybe she's not worth it. You've got to be real as much as she does and that includes when she's in no make-up. 
• Don't enter into a relationship with the foresight of 'I'm going to marry this person'. Take every day one step at a time and try really really hard not to plan too far in advance as it will get your hopes up and you'll crash if something happens all the harder. 
• The less pomp the better - keep the make up to a minimum, the hair product under control but please maintain personal hygiene. Except while playing sports- you are allowed to sweat. 
• Smell is the most triggered sense to memory. BO is a no. Perfume and body spray (masc.) is cool beans, just don't shower in it.
• There is something incredibly unattractive about greasy hair whether you're in a relationship or not.
• Girls: know his favourite band(s), the size shirt he wears and his favourite sports teams. This will make gift buying so much easier.
• Guys: know her favourite flowers, author(s), and style of purse. See latter comment above.
• Girls: there is nothing wrong with thorough enjoyment watching sports: I'm a freak on this matter and have come to terms with it. 
• Guys: girly movies are no big- in fact, you'll probably gain a lot of respect from girls when you acknowledge that you have a degree of girliness to you.

This list is by no means conclusive. These are random thoughts that sprang to mind... though I may follow with additional posts when I remember something wonderful.