From the Innermost Thoughts of the Frustrated and Flippant

You never said it would be easy. In fact, You never really mentioned it at all. But what I have swirling around in my head certainly isn't making things in any way more simple.

I promised I would try and tone it down; that I would wait. But why am I bombarded on all sides at random intervals with varying strengths? I see slivers of what is still lingering - moments where I can't seem to let go of the recollections but that would dictate the past, wouldn't it?

They say not to dwell on this past, but how can I regurgitate that, helping others to see the same if I am failing at my own opinions? I cannot step out of the reverie, I am struggling to tear my gaze from what was there. And so many may be confused as to what the reality is but should I assure each who ask that it is simply not what they are thinking of?

And I don't understand why I hold my breath. It's as if there is some gluing substance which rivets my gaze to what indeed is unhealthy. But why have my opinions and viewpoints changed so much? Is it an allowance to help me to grow and experience new characteristics which present similarly therefore preparation at it's finest? Or is it s scene to push my gaze to a potential?

But I catch myself with this idea... 'potential'. Oh my goodness, how can you let yourself think that? How can you entertain these thoughts, tormenting yourself further and further away from sane and conscious thinking? Removal of oneself into a darker chasm of swirling thoughts, floating in cataclysmic clouds through crevasses of dry and parched reminiscent impressions.

And you over think things and start to create something which had the potential to be there but really wasn't. There it is again, that stupid potential. And why can you not just cling to the truth? Because our thoughts aren't organized that way - we are not able to hold tight to every detail, every situation which helped us grow nearer and dearer to our contentment.

But again, You never said that it was easy. It is not about contentment.

So what is this supposed to mean, how can I deal with it, and what would You have me do now? Why do I keep moving in circular psychological patterns?!