Crying in the Light

A year or two ago, I felt a moving in my heart to stop listening to the sermon at church and to just spend some time with God. On the back of the bulletin, I wrote a prayer to just spend time with Jesus and unfold in His presence.

Though this is rather personal, I thought it would be good to share. Though I have changed in the past few years in a lot of ways, these pleas to the Lord are still the desires of my heart.

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Jésu, je cherche pour vous. Mon Père, je veux rechercher après vous.

I way to sit at Your feet, drink from the cup in Your hands, lay back against You and breathe, feel Your heartbeat. Oh this love is so sweet, it's more than I can bear, I want to melt in Your peace, it's overwhelming.

Father, I thank You for Your kindness. For Your passion. Lord, I come to You on my knees and ask for a few things: please help me to keep perspective. Help me in the frustration of school, business, nursing, family, fatigue, and sheer number of commitments. Father, I pray that through the craziness of my pretty first class life that You will remind me of justice, of those in this world who are crying out for You.

Jesus, draw me close to Your heart for Your people.

Also God, You are the most important thing to me. You are my be all, my end all. Lord God, please give me the intelligence, wisdom, and heart to be still with You. Just to stop moving, stop thinking. My quiet time is the most brilliant and important time of my day - I get to just hang out with You! Help me, Jesus, to put this as the top of my priority list.

Thank You for Your forgiveness and love - help me to be a better person, more like You. Father, thank You for prayer. Thank- You that I am able to connect to You so quickly. God You are always with me. You are always my rock and shield, my very motivation. Lord, I choose to rely on You - I choose to draw closer to You. Reel me in Jesus and carry me. Help me to focus also - my tasks are all for You. Everything I do is an act of worship, please help me to think of and remember this on a constant, daily basis. That I may focus on school and study, and write, and think hard and well.

My schooling is a ministry - help me to seize this opportunity. Let me focus on quiet time and not be distracted from You and Your presence: thank you for helping me. Help me to focus on the friendships that mean so much to me. Help them to be my focus and set my gaze on ministering to them no matter what. Give me these opportunities to speak to them, to tell them of Your love, and do so in a what that makes sense, is real, and is beautiful.

Help me to conduct conversations as an empty vessel. You fill me up, keep me fully Holy Spirit. God, my focus is trying to turn and stay on You - help me to do it with nothing from darkness holding me back. Remind me in my every waking moment of Your goodness. At the end of each day, I pray that this focus will snap back to You if it has strayed. You, the author and creator of my faith. Lord, help me to live my life as an offering. To share the Good News that You have placed in my heart. Let it not only be in my heart though, let it be on my tongue, mind, before my eyes, within my giving hands.

Help me to remove myself from my world and to fold, envelope, and totally submerge myself in Your love, Your grace, Your mercy, compassion, goodness, and faithfulness. My heart is Yours, God.

I feel like a blind man in Your sight, I know that I'm wicked in Your eyes. Wash me and make me shine like Your Son, I want to tell everyone that you're the only one. 

Take my heart, make it new, make it true, make it like you. Take these hands, I lift them hight, they're Yours not mine to do what You will. 

I'm ready now. Send revival, start with me.