Keep My Heart Slow

That moment of pure anxiety, of stark fear when you think that things around you may be falling through the slots of the sieve. It was the calm before the storm, the breath before the leap, though you realize that this storm, like all others, is one which must not only be waited out, but must be dealt with in real time.

There is no fast-forward. There is only actual pace which coincides with actual reality.

If a piece of a puzzle does not match with its counterparts, does not match with the current way things are, there must be a reckoning of sorts. An evaluation in which all the other little pieces must join together and try to understand how changes can be made to help that piece.

Leave no man behind, but dragging him isn't an option either.

~

I realize that there is a slightly different level to be noted here and understand the intentionality that must go behind as well as before all connections.

My fear lies in being forgotten, in a sense. That fear is fed much too often by wandering thoughts and a drowning self-esteem. The latter thrashes about searching for a thread of sense to cling to, to prevent further destruction. While I realize this sense is truly there, I'm afraid that I will need confirmation on a slightly more regular basis.

Regardless,

I must learn my ground and come to know it well and I will wait but I won't let go.