Just Wait For It
If you have any idea of the kind of person that I am (whether through my writing or through knowing me personally), you'll know that my grasp of patience can be rather dreadful. I have been born into a world that goes non-stop without pausing to reflect on the moments that seem to pass us by, and unfortunately, fall prey to the 'go-go-go!' mentality far too easily. I know this is something I struggle with, but am pleased to report that I am slowly learning what it means to be patient and to wait things out.
We had a patient at work a few weeks ago who was rather immature and high-maintenance. She didn't have a lot of years under her belt and I'm sure that because of her lack of understanding, experience, and maturity, she took her traumatic situation and grasped whatever control she could. Rather than coping with all the small details one at a time, she responded by being demanding and expectant of things to go her way. This is tedious at best when you have ten million other things to do at any given point in time. I was encouraged when one of my coworkers verbalized to me that she was glad that I was the nurse for this particular patient as I had the ability to convey patience and calm in my work. This really encouraged me. Who I want to be is starting to poke through, to make a difference in how I act in the here and now.
When you encounter a situation that demands that long-suffering and the "waiting it out", it's not an easy thing to be still and allow things to unfold. Typically, I am terrible at this. I've seen though that with the waiting, my expectation grows and usually comes to end up in either fantastic joy or rather unfortunate disappointment. Even if you don't have to wait for very long, usually speaking, the gratitude that you experience by choosing to remain calm and collected is usually significantly impactful.
So in the last two weeks I've had to truly be patient on only a handful of occasions. You know those moments: you're fairly sure you know what the outcome is going to be, it's just a matter of awaiting someone else's perspective before you're allowed to move forward. In some ways, I really love those times as they seem to give some sort of stability (with kind of knowing the outcome). On the other hand, it's difficult to wait for someone else to make a call as just like that, you've lost control.
I firmly believe that control and patience are correlated. I dislike giving up control; surrender of any kind is especially difficult for me however I am starting to see in how I approach challenge and difficulty, that my first response is to release my iron-clad fist on it, and give it up to God. Can I tell you just how exciting this is? For someone who doesn't like waiting, someone who doesn't like relinquishing the small amount of dignity that I can preserve by maintaining control: to slowly unfold the fingers to allow vulnerability and openness to set in... this is exciting. This is ground breaking! This is who I want to become!
So while there have been moments of waiting, of resting, of patiently idling, I find myself less often checking the clock, tapping my fingers, and trying to get things done myself. No, I am starting to see small changes where I am okay to wait it out. Especially if there's something lovely, warming, and God-blessed at the other end of the interval.
I know this is a work in progress. I know that there is so many steps forward after this little baby one, but I am excited at the prospect. For I do know that He who began a good work in me is going to keep carrying it on to completion until Jesus comes back or I go home... whichever comes first.
We had a patient at work a few weeks ago who was rather immature and high-maintenance. She didn't have a lot of years under her belt and I'm sure that because of her lack of understanding, experience, and maturity, she took her traumatic situation and grasped whatever control she could. Rather than coping with all the small details one at a time, she responded by being demanding and expectant of things to go her way. This is tedious at best when you have ten million other things to do at any given point in time. I was encouraged when one of my coworkers verbalized to me that she was glad that I was the nurse for this particular patient as I had the ability to convey patience and calm in my work. This really encouraged me. Who I want to be is starting to poke through, to make a difference in how I act in the here and now.
When you encounter a situation that demands that long-suffering and the "waiting it out", it's not an easy thing to be still and allow things to unfold. Typically, I am terrible at this. I've seen though that with the waiting, my expectation grows and usually comes to end up in either fantastic joy or rather unfortunate disappointment. Even if you don't have to wait for very long, usually speaking, the gratitude that you experience by choosing to remain calm and collected is usually significantly impactful.
So in the last two weeks I've had to truly be patient on only a handful of occasions. You know those moments: you're fairly sure you know what the outcome is going to be, it's just a matter of awaiting someone else's perspective before you're allowed to move forward. In some ways, I really love those times as they seem to give some sort of stability (with kind of knowing the outcome). On the other hand, it's difficult to wait for someone else to make a call as just like that, you've lost control.
I firmly believe that control and patience are correlated. I dislike giving up control; surrender of any kind is especially difficult for me however I am starting to see in how I approach challenge and difficulty, that my first response is to release my iron-clad fist on it, and give it up to God. Can I tell you just how exciting this is? For someone who doesn't like waiting, someone who doesn't like relinquishing the small amount of dignity that I can preserve by maintaining control: to slowly unfold the fingers to allow vulnerability and openness to set in... this is exciting. This is ground breaking! This is who I want to become!
So while there have been moments of waiting, of resting, of patiently idling, I find myself less often checking the clock, tapping my fingers, and trying to get things done myself. No, I am starting to see small changes where I am okay to wait it out. Especially if there's something lovely, warming, and God-blessed at the other end of the interval.
I know this is a work in progress. I know that there is so many steps forward after this little baby one, but I am excited at the prospect. For I do know that He who began a good work in me is going to keep carrying it on to completion until Jesus comes back or I go home... whichever comes first.
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